Everyday life

A bit of a break thru

I know a another post so soon may come as a shock to some because in the past I was not the greatest at remembering to post. Actually I am surprised that I am posting again so soon, as I have been forgetting tons of things recently.  I have read that it has to do with the PTSD. In a way I find blogging therapeutic.

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As I seat here and think of what has happened in my life. I am left worrying where am I going? What does the future hold for me?

I have feelings of quitting everything in my life and starting over. Getting rid of all the things that was once my life and starting a new life, one that I want and not one that I feel was picked for me.

Of course if I was to do such a thing I would never leave my babies, aka the dogs & cats, they are a part of me after all. I just don’t know where I am headed. Yes it scares me and in a small way begins me hope.

I think that sometimes I should look back at all the strength I had and draw from that, and my what doesn’t kill you make you stronger personally. But the hurt little girl in me is scared to get hurt again. I am not even sure what I am scared of hurting me. I know that my boyfriend supports me and loves me. He would never do to me what was once done to me. Maybe it is the feeling of being alone being on my own and feeling like I have nothing and no one.

Truth be told I don’t think I ever really had a life to start with. I graduated high school and started business school the fall after that where I meet my now ex-husband. It was him and I from then on. I think in the past few years I have realized there was no ME in my life and at the same time started to see how I was being treated by my then husband.

So it short, even though it seems scary. I guess it is time to pull up my big girl panties and make the hard decisions.  I guess what doesn’t kill me makes me stronger.

 

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I have a secret

So I have been putting this off as I have been dealing with this myself.

Oh where to start. I guess I will cover the basics of this and do other post later about the rest.

Back this past August my life changed forever.

The best way to put this so some people understand is thinking of it like weather.

One day the sky opened up like it does after a bad storm or in my case a hurricane. What I mean by that is one day I realized what was right before me and woke up. I realized that I was in an emotional and verbally abusive relationship. I had been making excuses for years for what I thought was normal in my life and it was abuse.

It was later that day I thought about all this love I feel in my heart and how I could love someone that was like this to me. I realized I didn’t, yes I took care of him and cared for his health, but the love I once felt was gone. I am unsure how long it has been this way. Maybe as I work with therapy I will know that answer.

So I thought about my life and what was going on in my life. I took about 3-5 days to focus on myself mentally and think. All this time my husband had no idea how I felt. I thought about the people in my life and what they mean to me and my relationships with them.

It was at this time, I thought about this gentle, kind man in my life our friend. I realized that there maybe something there other then friendship, so on a car ride with him to pick up something I talked to him. I told him I care about him and I think I have feelings for him. He said the same. That was August 10th.

I thought about how I was going to tell my husband so after a day I just seat him down and said that this is not working and I am not in love with him.

This started the worst hell I have ever been in. For 3 days my life sucked as we tried to figure out what we were going to do. The abuse went to a whole new level, which ended at 3 AM on August 14th with a call to 911. My husband was violently trying to kill myself and our friend.

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After so much court stuff and a divorce. I am happy to say I am on the road to healing. Therapy every 2 weeks and lots of one day at a time. I am starting to know what our soldiers go thought when coming home as I now have PTSD.

It has been 6 months since my life changed forever. Yes it was hell, but to get to sunshine you sometimes have to make it thru a lot of storms.

I am happier then I have ever been. I finally feel LOVED. I am not sure the last time I felt this loved.

So a thought to think about and something that keeps me going. “Something will grow from all you are going through. And it will be YOU.” – unknown.

Everyday life

Oh life

So things have gotten away from me. I am going to try and set a goal to blog more.

An update on my life. My car died (engine went in it). I have a great friend that helps me get around when I need to. Plus we don’t live far from a bus stop if we need to go somewhere.

I have been working on Auxiliary things like crazy. I think that big things are in the future for me in the next few years.

The puppies and my husband are doing great. We’re trying to stay warm in the sunshine state. El nino has brought a lot of cold temperatures to Florida.  I mean 40 degrees some mornings. I guess hoodie weather is here.

I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas and I hope the New Year brings everyone something new.

Tell next time. ( I hope next week.)

DIY

DIY Project: $2.00 art

If I did not tell you before I have a few projects I have done around the house. This project I did with only $2.00. Yes I said only $2.00. Our dollar tree is right by our Goodwill, so I went looking for something different.I saw a picture of angels that were faded and saw better days. I have saw something like this on Pinterest and thought I could do that. So I started with the framed print then I went to the Dollar Tree and picked  a wall decal. I am sorry I do not have a picture of the framed print. This is the wall decal I used.

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To start the project off I remove the cardboard and art from the frame. Cleaned the glass very well. I closed the clamps back down to secure the glass. Then placed the decal on the front of the glass, just like you would the wall. Then hand it on the wall. I hung mine in the living room, but it would also be great in a bedroom.

    
 
I have another project coming up in the next few days. It is my DIY washi tape storage.

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Ok ok I am a bad blogger.

yeah I know I said I was going to blog more and that did not happen. I have pictures of projects I did and mean to post. I am hoping to get back on schedule with my daily living soon. I will be scheduling time for myself to blog also. I had a weekend conference followed shortly after by working at a camp for 2 weeks. Maybe I will post again tomorrow. No promise but I hope I will have something different for you soon. 

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Hello

Once again I am sorry for not posting. I am not trying to make excuses but life has been busy. I am going to try and make a few post and schedule them so this does not keep happening. If you noticed I have taken the plunge and made this blog a .com maybe this will make me more accountable.

Well it is late so off to bed.

DIY

$1.00 Summer Sandal DIY

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OK we have all had those cheap summer sandals that hurt your toes. I have a cheap and quick fix for it.

I recently picked up a pair of sandals from Dollar Tree for $1.00. After wearing them for 10 minutes the started to hurt my toes.So I started thinking of a super cheap way to fix this.

I had a T shirt sleeve I recently cut off a t shirt I used for a project. ( I always save the scraps.)  I wear a 9 1/2 and the shirt was an XL, I think.

All you need so scissors, the sandals, and the t shirt sleeve.

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I started by cutting the on either side of the seam that makes the fabric a loop. It should look like this.

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Then I cut the edges where the other seams are. So there are or sewed parts left. Then it will look like this.

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After this is done. I cut it so that all the sides are straight. (Sorry forgot a picture of this.)

I then cut this into two pieces length wise and pulled from each size, which makes the fabric longer and it curls a little ( this is alright). Put this to the side.

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Now to work on the sandal. Push the tong, the part that goes between your toes, with your fingers it will look like this. Then with a pair of scissors cut it off. Do the same with the other parts of the straps.

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Now with the fabric strings you made. Push one of each piece thru the tong hole. This is what you should have.

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Then tie them together. Make 2 knots.

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With the other sides of the fabric strings push one thru each of the other holes.

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I gently tried mine on before knotting those pieces to make sure they were the correct length. Then single or double knot them too. Cut the extra fabric off the end of all the knots. I did not put hot glue on my knots, but if you are a little tough on your sandals you may want to do that. Here is what it looks like after it is knotted and trimmed.

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Here is the finished product.

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